Highlights
8.
Really very drunk, in the street, barging each other as they went along. Colin put his arm round Archie’s shoulders. It seemed absurd, but then again perhaps only prudent, to have another drink. ‘I suppose we should go to St Peter’s,’ he said.
‘Umm…’ said Archie, distracted by the window, the interestingly priced Armani suits. ‘Shall we go in here?’
Colin was saying, ‘…of course we could just go back to the hotel and have some fun.’
Archie, abstracted for a moment, staring across the crowded square… ‘Yes!’ he said.
‘Great!’ said Colin, of course it was all going to be all right.
‘Yes! I know what we must do,’ said Archie. ‘We must go for a ride in a carriage. I cannot go back to London without first having had a ride in a carriage.’ Pulling at Colin’s arm.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Colin said.
‘Oh, please,’ said Archie. ‘Please, please, please.’
‘I’m not going for a ride in a carriage, and that’s that,’ said Colin.
‘It’ll be something to remember,’ said Archie. Stumbling him towards the rank, with three or four carriages waiting. Crocheted cushions, plastic flowers.
‘It’s a total tourist trap,’ said Colin, smelling the horse dung.
‘They’re a total rip-off.’
‘I’ll pay!’ said Archie.
‘You haven’t got any money,’ said Colin.
‘I can make some! I’ll pay you back.’
They were almost scuffling, Colin heaving him away; Archie had started talking to the driver, he was being handed up the listing step of the vehicle, agreeing to the mad first price that was mentioned. Colin said, ‘No, no, no, that’s fifty quid as near as dammit,’ reaching up, tugging hard on Archie’s arm — anyway, they went in the carriage, Archie on the mobile to Aldo and making Colin speak to him too. Colin slid down on the plastic cushions, dreading being seen by the Gortons.